I've often wondered what possessed people to blog. One could find it a little pompous when faced with a person who feels obliged to dedicate a small portion of the online media solely to their thoughts and opinions. A myspace here, a twitter there, a facebook for your troubles or a little bebo (an archaic form of communication now long forgotten, for the younger among you) should surely satisfy the needs of any aspiring pontificator. Still, the internet is covered in blogs; most of which are truly dreadful. The oh so self-aware hipster mindlessly double-ewe-tea-effing away at his Macbook in some ratty establishment dispensing tea and pretension by the cup. 20-something professionals living in their own romanticized version of London or New York, having moved from suburbia long ago with high definition dreams of gay best friends & Prada heels; as such beginning and ending every post with slightly pitiful Carrie Bradshaw-ish rhetorical quandaries - "Is the orgasm my white whale?" - or the typically peachy sounding Desperate Housewives style spin on a narrative statement - "They say every dog has his day, but for this dog his day was just beginning...". Of course there are plenty of perfectly earnest people blogging today simply to document their endeavours or keep in touch with friends & family in a far off land, but for every one of these we're faced with literally thousands of the aforementioned clichés.
You're surely wondering by now why a seemingly bitter old tart like me would ever partake in something I have such negative feelings toward. It's quite simple really. You see darling, as my new years resolution for the soon to be halted year gone by I decided to see how long I could refrain from engaging in one of life's simple post-pubescent pleasures: masturbation. Somewhat surprisingly I've managed to keep onanism out of my life for nearly an entire 12 months now, and in 3 days time I'll be needing a new challenge for a brand new decade. So here I am. Blogging is something I've considered for a long time but always shied away from, mostly due to the reasons listed above. Of course it's not quite as impressive a feat as being master of ones domain for 365 long and hard (I'm a stitch, right?) days, but I would see it as a relatively productive plan in that it gives me a way to hone my writing skills and force some opinions on the world at the same time.
I'm sure by now you've either lost interest or you're simply reading on to indulge your thoughts of "whoa, check this guy out. What a jerk. Does he not realize he's embodying every one of these blogland stereotypes as he damns their very existence? Epitomizing a culture while simultaneously lampooning it, pfffft! What are you? Like, 12? Jerk...", well if that's what you're thinking then you have a very valid point oh dear reader from the depths of the infonet, I also admire your use of the word jerk. Well allow me retort in ramble: I'm 18 years old, live in London (though I come from Dublin), I am a student filmmaker and aspiring writer, some may find me pretentious at times though this makes me feel emotionally poorly and misunderstood (much like Marvel Comics stalwart Galactus or Arthur Reid's teacher Mr Ratburn from the charming children's books and television series "Arthur"), as you can most probably tell from those references I am also a massive geek. I'm a (perhaps occasionally archetypal) homosexual, and in case you haven't guessed by now I would also assume myself to be terribly insecure, though I would think this is something which by its very nature can't really be confirmed by ones own self. So I suppose what I'm trying to say is that while I may not be entirely fond of a lot of things relevant in society today, I have to face up to the slightly uncomfortable (like jeans with a broken fly; you can wear them, but you're not happy about it) fact that I not only must deal with them regularly, I must also experience them every day when I look in the mirror. Not literally or physically of course, but I'm sure you catch the drift I'm pitching. So to close in classically disposable and buzz-wordy blogger fashion: Some blog for practically, some for image, some to fulfill romantic ideals, but all these things are surely entirely forgivable for regardless of rhyme or reason we are all but people sharing this vast and beautiful cyberphysical landscape. To blog is human. I blog therefore I am. In blog we trust. So please, shall we try to be only lovely to one another in oh-10, and blog simply for the joy of it all? Lets do.
Kid Sensible out,
Smooches.
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